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The Marital Art of “We-Do”

- 11 September 2009, 05:09

by Diana Daffner

At the wedding, we each stood courageously and said, “I do!”.

Once awakened to the conscious path of relationship, both partners learn to say together, “We-Do!”.  We-Do is the path of relationship.  The practice of We-Do enhances spiritual growth and shared ecstasy.  It is about partners training together on a regular basis, with the intention of living in joyous celebration of love.

Drawing on oriental martial arts for inspiration (Aiki-do, Ju-do, Tai Kwan Do), and spiced with the eroticism of  Tantra sexuality, We-Do (pronounced wee-doe) is lighthearted, effective and easy-to-do training in love and intimacy.

When practicing Aikido (the gently powerful martial art of Japan), I ask my partner to grab my wrist in a certain way so that I can perform a specific movement, or technique.  My partner, called uke (oo-kay), responds to my request, and attempts to give me the energy, the attack, that I ask for.  Later, we switch roles, and I become uke.

As uke, I take the part of the aggressor. In Aikido, we do not act out the emotional qualities of an attack.  However, we train to deliver appropriate energy so that our partner can perform the required defensive action.  In order to deliver appropriate energy, as uke I must approach my partner with desire.  I want that wrist, I want to feel my hand encircling it, feel my skin making contact with his skin, feel our flesh touch.  My entire body becomes involved, as I move toward him, intent upon the direction of the attack.  My job is to give a particular flow of energy.  No other thoughts enter my mind. I am focused.

You may ask, how does this relate to marriage?  In the practice of We-Do, I get to describe to my partner how I would like him to touch me (and with what!).  I can ask for a specific type of touch.  Rub me lightly here.  Or, press deeply, please.  We are in this training together; we are learning to give, receive and share energy in ways that enhance our experience of life and love.  Learning to focus is one of the most important lessons. Another is learning to ask.

As in martial arts training, we can take turns.  In We-Do, as uke, I try to give to my lover the touch that he asks for.  Perhaps only my fingertips are touching, yet my body, my breath, my heart are involved.  As I reach toward him, I am intent upon the flow of energy.  No thoughts distract me. I am focused.

There is such joy both in being focused, being the one who gives attention, and in receiving, being the one who receives the touch that is longed for.  In Aikido, both partners are empowered by the resulting successful technique.  In We-Do, both partners experience the ecstasy of love.

One aspect of We-Do is called Tantra Tai Chi for Lovers.

Diana Daffner, with her husband Richard, leads “Intimacy Retreats” for couples and provides coaching in sexual intimacy as a spiritual path. The Daffners are the authors of  Tantric Sex for Busy Couples: How to Deepen Your Passion in Just Ten Minutes a Day. They originated the Tantra Tai Chi™ program, a partnered movement practice to enhance intimacy in body, heart and soul. For a schedule of workshops, visit www.IntimacyRetreats.com or call 1-877-282-4244 (tollfree).


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